Love On Purpose

Love on Purpose

 

 

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  To some it is Singles Awareness Day. (My daughter wrote a song about it. It will make you smile. Check it out HERE.) I’ve heard people say it’s the Hallmark Holiday; the day the greeting card companies rip us off. I’ve heard men say it’s a day that no matter what they do, they can’t win. Whatever you call it and however you feel about it, tomorrow is February 14th.

I love special days and any reason to celebrate and have fun. This love for special days sometimes sets me up for disappointment because I want the important people in my life to participate with me! I want them to think special days are as important as I do, and of course wanting it doesn’t make it so. Still, I power on and get my hopes up!

So let’s talk about V-Day. I understand the cynicism. It is commercialized to death and it’s easy to feel pressured to participate, but what about a quick paradigm shift? Have we gotten so cynical that taking time to celebrate and do something sweet for the people we are closest to is just too much trouble? What’s wrong with a day set aside to love people on purpose? What’s wrong with a day that we all make a special effort to make the people we love feel important and maybe even brag to the world, “I am lucky enough to get to love this person and call them mine!”

If you know me or have been part of the community here in the Land of Angela very long at all, you know that loving people on purpose is something I talk about a lot. I believe that feeling love is worthless is we don’t make an effort give love away; to love people on purpose.

effort- a vigorous or determined attempt.

Loving people on purpose just means making an effort to make them feel cared for and important. A real effort. A vigorous or determined attempt. Not an ‘I stopped at Walgreens on the way home from work so you wouldn’t be mad at me’ effort.

I certainly try to do this on more than one day of the year, and I’m sure you do too. But this one day in February when it’s cold and we are all tired of winter, we have an opportunity to warm things up a bit!  The effort doesn’t necessarily have to cost a lot of money.  It doesn’t have to be extravagant, although it can be. I have found that the little things are the big things, and the occasional grand gesture is wonderful. The real treasure in any gift, is the effort and the intention.

When we give something out of obligation, whether it’s time, words, or a material gift, whomever we are giving to can feel the underlying eye-roll. You know that eye-roll we get when we ask our teenagers to do chores? It feels the same when the intention of the gift is ‘have to’ instead of ‘want to.’

Some people are naturally great gift givers. They are tuned in and catch the slightest mention of a want or need. They see things they think will bless someone and pick them up to save for a special occasion, or give it just to make someone feel special. I have a friend who has quietly ‘sponsored’ a teenager’s prom dress because she knew a family was struggling. Because I’m a single mother some lovely people in our lives arrange for my kids to be able to get me a gift for my birthday for example; which not only blesses me, but my children feel good that they can be a blessing to their mom. My sweetheart comes and takes my garbage off every week without being asked and without so much as a sigh of complaint. Just little things like that are huge!

 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom can be no variation, neither shadow that is cast by turning.~James 1:17 ASV

Others of us, myself included, are more challenged in this area. Since God is such a great giver, I pray a lot for God to show me how to love people the way they need to be loved, and to show me things that would be a blessing to them. Sometimes it would be easier not to make the effort. The thing is, the people I love are worth the effort, and I want them to know they are worth it and feel they are worth it. This, for me, has been something I’ve had to work on over the years. I have a long way to go but I’m improving!

 

I think there are three reasons Valentine’s Day in particular gets people all up in arms.

 

  1. Fear: We aren’t sure what to do or we don’t have the finances to do what we would like to do, so the uncertainty makes us want to do nothing and shake our fist at the whole premise.
  2. Laziness: We just don’t want to put forth the effort. (Come on…We know it’s the truth anyway!) Even plants die if we don’t pay attention to them. We can’t just take for granted they will grow and flourish if we don’t give them nourishment. It makes no sense to not water the plant or put it in the sun and then blame the plant because it shriveled and died. Relationships are no different. If we don’t water them with attention and occasionally warm them with romance they will eventually stop growing, become boring, and eventually they too will die. It makes no sense, but if this begins to happen we tend to say love is a fairy tale and relationships don’t work. Sometimes the truth is, we didn’t put forth any effort. Life is hard and love and romance make it more fun! We should make a special effort sometimes to be romantic and spoil each other. The payoff is so worth the effort!
  3. Being Single: Valentine’s day is harder if you have no romantic love in your life. But loving and being loved is not reserved for romance. We all have people we can love on purpose tomorrow. We have friends and family, and if we don’t there are tons of people out there that need someone to love them on purpose. Making Valentine’s Day about giving rather than receiving will put the joy back in the day! I had a small get together for friends one year so we could all enjoy one another and shift the focus from the fact that we were all single. Just because we weren’t in a romantic relationship didn’t mean we couldn’t have a great day!

Ann Voskamp says, “Life is not an emergency. Life is a gift.” The best thing about life is the people we get to love and the people who love us back. Let’s take tomorrow and make an extra special effort, without the obligatory eye-roll, to make the ones we love feel important. Why not change our attitude from, “I have to,” and “This is ridiculous,” to “I get to,” and “They are worth it!” Have fun and put thought and effort into your giving. Do something surprising that you know will make the person you love smile. Life is more fun when we take every opportunity we can to celebrate each other! Make tomorrow about love, on purpose.

Love on Purpose

 

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I hope you visit again soon!

Angela

Angela is a single mom raising her two favorite people.

Her favorite son Evan is a baseball and wrestling loving 19 year old young man with special needs, and a great sense of humor.

Her favorite daughter Phoebe is a 15 year old sophomore in high school, who is also a gifted and anointed musician, and singer/songwriter.

She works from home as a freelance writer, blogger, and medical biller.

 

 

 


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Christmas Can Seem Daunting!

If you are not done with your Christmas preparations, now would be a good time to panic! Christmas, and all of the tasks that go along with it, can seem huge and daunting! But wait!! That’s not what all of this is about. It’s about a God who wants to be with us so much that he came, quietly and humbly, in the flesh to do so. It’s the celebration of the gift of a savior, and in honor of His gift, the blessing of one another. We can make it about a bunch of other stuff and make ourselves miserable.

I’ve done it and I still have to make myself stay calm and not worry. I worry that my kids will be disappointed. I worry about the extra money I’ve spent. I worry I’m going to forget something or that my kids won’t have the same amount of gifts. Blah blah blah. When I get caught up in all that mess I miss the fun. I miss the moments to say thank you. I miss the making of memories and the time to enjoy people I love.

I’m about to turn 42 and I don’t want to miss anything else or take any more time for granted. Here are 5 things I am doing to stay calm….even on December 22nd!

Do one thing at a time-
I know….we are all superwoman and superman! Here’s a revelation: no we’re not and trying to be something we’re not is exhausting. It sucks the joy right out of our world.

Say Thank You-
Ok I’m grateful! This is not helpful. Just trust me. Take a moment and say thank you. Thank you for another Christmas. Thank you for the ham….yes the one that cost $27…I did not have to kill a pig for it! Thank you. It’s amazing what thank you does to calm the anxiety and change our focus.

Take a Bath-
A 15 minute soak relaxes me, helps my aches and pains, and helps me go another round! If I pray while I’m in there I get an even better boost.

Do something you like in THE MIDDLE of something you dread-
Go grab a bite with a friend in THE MIDDLE of running errands. I watch my favorite movies when I’m wrapping because wrapping is not my favorite thing. If Christmas shopping stresses you out, ask a friend to tag along so you can enjoy their company in THE MIDDLE of the hustle and bustle.

Ask for help-
I find a lot of joy in helping someone else. It is much harder for me to allow someone the same joy and let them help me. And actually ask for help? Only if my children are starving! I am learning, however, that trusting someone enough to ask for their help, or even just receiving from them something they want you to have, blesses them. Let people bless you. The way God cares for us is by using us to care for each other.

We can do this! It’s almost here! Let’s find joy in the little things. They really are the big things.

Thank you for visiting the Land of Angela today! Share with a frazzled friend or family member and be sure and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!

I hope you visit again soon.

Angela

 

Angela is a single mom raising her two favorite people.

Her favorite son Evan is a baseball and wrestling loving 19 year old young man with special needs, and a great sense of humor.

Her favorite daughter Phoebe is a 15 year old sophomore in high school, who is also a gifted and anointed musician, and singer/songwriter.

She works from home as a freelance writer, blogger, and medical biller.


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Thanksgiving: A Week to Taste and See

Taste and see

 

It’s the beginning of the week. The one where we focus on being thankful. Most of us have a day off with family and food and maybe some football to look forward too!

I love words and definitions and I learned a new word today.

Doxology-a usually liturgical expression of praise to God

I then had to look up liturgical. (I guess I learned two new words!)

Liturgy (Greek: λειτουργία) is the customary public worship done by a specific religious group, according to its particular beliefs, customs and traditions.

So now the Angela Scott Definition:

Doxology- the practice of expressing your praise to God openly. Taking an action….praise as a habit. ON PURPOSE.

Doxology. What an extraordinary word. I don’t want ritual, but I do want a practicing faith. An ‘only for Sunday morning’  faith isn’t worth putting on a bra and makeup for. I mean let’s get real.

I go to church every Sunday because I want to be with the family of God in His presence worshiping and learning of Him. Not because I have to or because God will be mad if I don’t. It’s part of how I practice my faith.

I do it because Jesus made a habit of going to the temple on a set day during the week, and if He thought it was an important part of His spiritual practice then that’s good enough for me! The raw truth is,  I need to get out of THE MIDDLE of my world at least once a week  and get a supercharged dose of His presence, get some encouragement and give some. But what about the rest of the week?

Praising God is simply thanksgiving. Thanksgiving day is one of my favorite days. I love special days and I enjoy the feast to celebrate the abundance in our lives, but I want a lifestyle of thanksgiving not just a day. I want my life to be a doxology. Not to be seen, but so people might want to know Him, not just know about Him. I am imperfect, we all are. Still, even with all of our imperfections, His desire is to have a deeply personal, unique relationship with us. There’s a miracle we can all be thankful for!

When Jesus is more than merely useful -when Jesus is ultimately supremely beautiful- who doesn’t have time to slow and see and thank Him!~ Ann Voskamp

When I read that it grabbed me and held on.

The older I get the more I want to live my life on purpose. I want to take it in, I don’t want to rush through it and miss the everyday miracles. I am hungry to know God more fully, to be more aware of His presence throughout my day, to fellowship with Him in a new way.

I learned a new word over the weekend!

 

I think a Good start is to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” When we taste something, it doesn’t just fall into our mouth. We take a bite on purpose. I want to enjoy His sweetness, to drink in His peacefulness, to be nourished by His life. My soul yearns for everyone to taste His goodness and really know Him, especially my children.

I want this November to be the beginning of a new thanksgiving practice. A daily practice, on purpose, of TASTING and SEEING that God is good in THE MIDDLE of every season. A new way to live my life, as a doxology. A life lived practicing praise, expressing thanksgiving ON PURPOSE.

As queen of the Land of Angela I declare and decree: Every day from now on will be Thanksgiving Day in the Land!

Thank you for visiting today! I am thankful for you. Tell me how you do it. Tell me how you express your praise to God. We can learn so much from each other! If reading this inspired or encouraged you, be sure to share with your friends and family on your social media,  and don’t forget to subscribe so each post will come right to your inbox.

Visit again soon!
Angela

 

Angela is a single mom raising her two favorite people.

Her favorite son Evan is a baseball and wrestling loving 20 year old young man with special needs, and a great sense of humor.

Her favorite daughter Phoebe is a 17 year old senior in high school, who is also a gifted and anointed musician, and singer/songwriter.

She works from home as a freelance writer, blogger, and is available to speak at your next event.


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Why I love Wednesdays!

Why I Love Wednesdays!

In the Land of Angela Wednesdays are Anti-procrastination days. It is the day that I try to get at least one thing done that has been taking up real estate in my head, but I have been putting off. I even keep a Wednesday list! On Tuesday nights I decide what from my Wednesday list I’m going to try to get done. Most of the time I find that whatever it is takes a lot less time to do than to think about doing! (I got this years ago from Marla of www.flylady.net , and if I did more of what she teaches my life would be much more orderly!! Go visit her!)

Once I have my anti-procrastination task or tasks done I reward myself by doing something to love someone on purpose. My anti-procrastination task is sometimes unpleasant, (which is usually why I have been putting it off) so having something to look forward to motivates me to get it finished.

I believe that love is not just a feeling, but something we do on purpose. It takes effort. Not like ‘I have to do the laundry or scrub the toilet’ effort; just on purpose, and it’s fun. The little things are the big things; the occasional grand gesture is wonderful too.

Effort: a vigorous and determined attempt

Loving someone on purpose can be as simple as sending an encouraging text, or sending a card in the mail. You could bring home dinner so your sweetheart doesn’t have to cook or deliver dinner to another family. You could take care of a person’s tab in a restaurant or pay for the person’s order in the drive through behind you.  Leave an envelope of cash in someone’s mailbox who you know is struggling. Send flowers for no reason. Call your mother.

How fun is planning the occasional grand gesture?! Whisk someone away unexpectedly for the weekend, or tell them to get dressed up and take them somewhere you know they love. Surprise your kids or your sweetheart with tickets to a concert or another fun event. Make an appointment and pay for a spa day for a single mom you know.

It doesn’t matter what it is as long as the motive is love and you put forth an effort.

Pretend that everyone you meet has a sign around their neck that says,”Make me feel important.”~Mary Kay Ash

I have been a victim of love, on purpose, many times! Just recently I was sweeping the leaves off of my deck when I had guests over. Now I am the proud owner of a really cool leaf blower! I posted a picture of my kids and me on Facebook a few months ago and I was squinting. (Both of them had glasses on.) I received notification the next day that I had an appointment to get my eyes checked and my inbox contained a gift card to pay for it. Wow!

You never know when your ‘love on purpose‘ project is God’s answer to someone’s prayer. We are the hands of the Lord in the earth. We just have to make the effort. I encourage you to pray for God to give you ideas of ways to love on people.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have what we asked of Him. ~I John 5:14-15

Everyone receives love differently. (A must read for life and relationships is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman)  My prayer is always,”help me to love them right, the way they need to be loved.” My son and my daughter receive love very differently, and one or the other would think I didn’t love them if I tried to love them the same way. When each of them is loved in a way they can receive, however, it is like watching a flower bloom!  And just a tip, because a certain thing does nothing for you, to someone else it may shout “I love you!”

Don’t procrastinate. Do something you have been putting off, and then love someone on purpose before you go to bed tonight. You will be so glad you did!

Let me know what you are doing today that you have been putting off, and give me one “Love on Purpose” idea in the comments. Thank you for visiting the Land of Angela today! Be sure to subscribe to the blog so you don’t miss a post and share with your friends and family on social media by clicking the share buttons below.

Angela

Angela is a single mom raising her two favorite people.

Her favorite son Evan is a baseball and wrestling loving 19 year old young man with special needs, and a great sense of humor.

Her favorite daughter Phoebe is a 15 year old sophomore in high school, who is also a gifted and anointed musician, and singer/songwriter.

She works from home as a freelance writer, blogger, and medical biller.

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